My Pin Obsession

Yeah, yeah... I'm still alive.

So today, I wanted to talk a little about my Disney Pin collection, my love of my pins, and exactly the lengths my obsession has taken me.

I started collecting pins on a trip I took to WDW in college back in December of 2000. There were a lot of memorable things that happened on that particular trip (my first visit to AK being probably the most memorable), but probably the thing that's had the greatest impact on my day-to-day life is that I discovered Disney Pins.

I know that Pins have been a thing to collect for people for a long time. Olympic pins are always very popular, especially, but it seems that around late 1999 Disney started creating waves and waves of collectible lapel pins, and the popularity of them shot through the roof from the start.

Truly it is one of the great ways to inexpensively (hahaha) commemorate a trip. You liked that new ride? Get a pin! You loved staying at that hotel? Get a pin! You were there on Halloween? Get a pin! It's a lot of fun, and potentially something that can last a long, long time without a huge monetary investment like snowglobes or something. Of course, that doesn't take into consideration the epic volume of pins a crazy person like me will purchase, but in theory, it's not too pricey.

So... I think on that first trip I bought between 10 and 15 pins, and they were all ranging between 4 and 8 dollars. There were very few Limited Edition pins in those days, at least in the parks, and they certainly weren't to the point of having monetary tiers. I remember looking at them over and over after my trip and just thinking about how cool it was, how ornate they were, and how much I wanted more.

Disney Pins are how I found my way to eBay.

I'm pretty sure I registered within a week of my return, and boy oh boy has eBay been a blessing and a curse when it comes to my spending and pin collecting. Over the past almost 15 years, I've had to place limits on my eBay purchases. The 'Buy it Now" option was crippling to my wallet for a while. The explosion of Limited Edition pins, Disney Auction Pins, Special Event Pins... eBay has been the life blood of my collection, and has arguably driven me into the poorhouse. I have over 500 eBay transactions, and I'd bet that easily 450 of them have been pin-related.

I've given myself limitations on eBay by focusing on smaller segments of pins.
1) Captain Hook pins
2) Expedition Everest pins
3) Completing L.E. Sets I started during a park trip.

There have been occasional hiccups to this, largely as a result of well-intentioned gifts that happen to trigger my OCD. My dad sent me a couple of Star Wars Mystery Pins, and I found myself compelled to complete the set on eBay.

As I've gotten older, planned my own Disney vacations, and made more money, my trips to WDW have largely centered around figuring out ways to collect as much money as possible beforehand JUST to purchase pins. I'm sort of embarrassed to say it, but I've come home with more than 70 pins at least 4 times.

Much like on eBay, I have to create rules for myself, so that I don't just randomly buy ALL of the pins..
1) I will buy pins for attractions ONLY if I've experienced that attraction on that trip... So... For the longest time I'd not ridden Mission Space, so I wouldn't allow myself to purchase any Mission Space pins. I try to even limit myself to rides I've ridden for the first time on any given trip.
2) I'm only allowed to buy 1 "PARK" pin for each park, so for example I can't by 4 different AK Tree of Life pins on a trip.
3) I can only buy resort pins for resorts in which I've stayed. Same with restaurants.
4) I've allowed myself to only purchase the "Classic Mickey Country" pins for the countries in Epcot in which I've had a meal. (I've got all of them except Norway).
5) I can only get LE Event pins if the Event occurred during my stay.

I'm sure there are others i'm not thinking of....

The one thing I really don't enjoy is the trading aspect. I love trading for Cast Member pins in the parks, but I've found the Pin Trader Community to be populated with unpleasant, unfriendly, way-too-serious weirdos who are constantly trying to screw you over. It's not that much fun. I'm pretty glad Disney forced the Pin Sharks out of the Downtown Disney area. Those people kinda bummed me out, even though I've found some exceptional pins in their binders in the past.

I even randomly was staying at Disneyland during a pin trading event, and after walking around for half an hour, I wanted nothing more than to leave.

Basically, what I'm trying to say with all of this, is that I love collecting pins, and over 15 years I've amassed a fairly substantial collection. About 2 years ago I started wanting to find a way to display my pins. I was always bummed that they basically stayed hidden away in bags and binders in a closet. I've spent way too much time and money to not be able to look at them in a cool way. I spent a lot of time during the Summer of 2012 looking at all kinds of weird "Display case" type things, and found that so many of them are extremely expensive, or not exactly what I wanted.

Most people would either settle, or give up... Me? I decided to learn woodworking, and build my own.

A friend of mine is a professional woodworker, and I asked him if I could essentially apprentice him for a Summer during my free time and work toward building my very own Disney Pin Display Case. Thankfully, he agreed, and we got started.

We ended up spending about 6 months together working on various small projects, learning techniques, and eventually designing and building a gigantic, two-tiered display case. I was lucky to have him, because it was very hard. He had a knee surgery during the time, and for a large majority of the building of it, he was directing me while I did the actual work.

I don't know how many people can say that their Disney Pin collection has helped them learn an actual skill, but I know that I am one of them. I've continued my woodworking hobby, but I've still never done anything quite as substantial.

Here are the photos of the crown jewel of my Disney Pin Collection. Made with Ash (The body) and Ambrosia Maple (the front of the drawers). Built entirely from scratch. We bought the raw lumber, milled it down, planed, jointed, and assembled.

Fixer-Uppers

Obviously, I love Disney, and I love Walt Disney World. It’s my favorite place on Earth.

That is well documented.

I may even go so far as to say that 9 of every 10 choices is the right one, and that they are, for the most part, always going to get the benefit of the doubt from me.

That said, I firmly believe that nothing, and nobody is above a critical eye. There’s no such thing as being perfect all the time, and even my favorite places could use some adjustments on occasion.

So… Today, since I’m feeling a little grumpy, I’m gonna talk about the #1 attraction/ride/whatever from each of the 4 main Walt Disney World parks that I believe needs to be either completely re-thought, or junked altogether to make room for something better.

The Magic Kingdom
There was once a time where I would have said The Swiss Family Tree House needs most to go… In fact, I believe I did,once upon a time. My feelings have changed. Maybe it’s just that I’ve gotten older and wiser, but while I don’t know that I’ll ever like it all that much, I do see why it’s a good thing. It’s one of the few places in the parks where the visitors are asked to use their imaginations some. Also… as a total sucker for nostalgia, how can I possibly criticize an attraction that exists purely due to nostalgia.

No no… the only logical option is Stitch’s Great Escape.

I know I’ve already ripped it up and down, but really it is terrible. It takes up a huge parcel of land in Tomorrowland. It’s not entertaining. People don’t like it. It’s an embarrassingly bad quick-fix for the more interesting ExtraTerrorestrial: Alien Encounter. It’s just… so frustrating. They have this golden location and they have all kinds of great material to source for an attraction in Tomorrowland (What about Wall-E?). I mean, heck… Keep it as a Lilo and Stitch thing, but just make it better for Pete’s sake. Poor Pete.

Epcot
It’s difficult to really straight-up criticize anything in Epcot. For the most part, I think it’s the most well considered, and strongly imagined park. Some of the most interesting rides are there (Soarin’, Spaceship Earth). Some of the more innovative (Test Track, especially now). Even some of the more nostalgic pieces (Journey into Imagination).

Of course, like I said, there’s always room to get better, and I think there are a couple of candidates that are ripe for an update, revamp, or total replacement.

I could go with Mission: Space. Many people really enjoy this ride. I, personally, don’t get all the fuss. The thing is, though, it’s kind of…sort of… potentially… dangerous. It’s at least a little unpleasant sometimes. Or even most of the time. That ride will straight-up mess you up if you have even the slightest inclination toward motion sickness. Seems so silly to have one of the Weenie rides also be so unsettling.

Still… there’s one culprit bigger than the rest…

Honey I Shrunk the Audience / Captain EO

Shhhhhh. Just hear me out. I like them too, but they’re SO old, and so outdated. Honey I Shrunk the Kids was a great, fun movie for me when I was 10, but the kids nowadays aren’t so up on their Wayne Zalinski references. They just don’t know those movies that well..

Try to explain Captain EO and the totally bizarre thing going on in that movie to a 10 year old who doesn’t know who Michael Jackson is. Go ahead. I’ll give you time...

…

…

They just looked at you like you’re insane, right?

I understand that Disney brought it back out of the Vault when MJ died, but it’s time to put it back for good. It’s so freakin’ strange.

And there are just soooooo many movies that could work as inspiration for a new 4D movie. How about one of the Marvel Characters that Disney owns now? I honestly don’t know the kinds of costs we’re talking about to make these movies. Maybe using modern stars in these characters is impossible, because the stars won’t do it. So… maybe do an animated one. I’d love an UP attraction. UP is sort of all about adventure and imagination anyway, so… use it. They have the full physical infrastructure of the building there. They have the mechanics to make the seats do stuff and have water spray and all that. Just give it a new coat of paint already.

Hollywood Studios

Probably of all the parks, this one was the hardest for me, because I honestly feel like I’m killing one of my pets. I better just yank the band-aid and get it over with…

The Great Movie Ride.

Oh man… this is tough.

Alright, so… The Great Movie Ride was at one time my favorite ride. Not just at (MGM) Studios. Not just at Walt Disney World. Anywhere. The actors were good. The scenes were clean. The animatronics were awesome. The movies were… not all that familiar, but I knew about them ENOUGH to pick up the cues and whatnot. That was 19 years ago, and they have barely updated it at all in the entire time since.

I hate to say it, but:
1) MGM’s been out of the picture for several years now, so there’s no reason to be beholden to MGM movies. Not that Singin’ in the Rain isn’t a great flick, in fact.. they all are great (kinda the point), but if you’re not answering to MGM, you have every chance to update the scenes to all kinds of Disney movies too. Think about a scene with Pirates of the Caribbean (from a different perspective than the actual ride). Think Avengers!
2) The Great Movie Ride is in the plumbest, cherriest (why are all the “bests” kinds of fruit?) spot in the whole place. It’s got a huge building. Why even constrain yourselves to updating the pre-existing ride. Maybe make it a ride-through dark ride for Disney Animation History. You could ride through scenes of Snow White, Fantasia (even maybe keep the Fantasia room as it is), Dumbo, Peter Pan… you get the picture. Make it sort of a combo of Great Movie Ride and Spaceship Earth… or maybe more specifically… A Spaceship Earth with Disney Movies as the theme as opposed to “Communication”. Where better to have 20 animatronic Walts doing different things throughout?

Animal Kingdom
The simplest answer would be to trash the entire “Dino-Rama” concept, and start from scratch, but that’s not the game here, and I can’t choose between Primeval Whirl and Triceratop Spin as to which is dumber. So, I’m going off the grid a little, and picking a ride that gets very little attention, which is a shame, because it has so much potential…

Kali River Rapids.

This is literally the only ride that I encourage people to skip when they come to Disney. It’s not that it’s bad. It’s not. It’s… well.. it’s two things.

1) It’s far too short a ride to justify more than a 10 minute wait. It’s barely over a minute if you don’t count the hill. That’s not long enough for a white-water rapids type ride. There’s just not much excitement.

2) On Splash Mountain “getting wet” basically means that you’ll get a little wet, and likely just enough to cool down in the Florida heat. On Kali River Rapids “getting wet” means that you’ll be walking around with wet underpants for the foreseeable future. It means you definitely need to put your wallet in a Ziploc bag. It means that you’ll hear your own feet squishing in your socks for the remainder of the day. You get absolutely, positively drenched.

There’s about a 25% chance you avoid the total drenching, but if I’m being honest, there’s never been a single day in my life I wanted to walk around a theme park with a shirt so wet that I have to wring it out.

It’s just not worth it, in my opinion.

Again.. it’s not a bad ride. It’s just a ride that doesn’t seem like a ride at all. It seems almost entirely like it’s simply dumping 2 buckets of water on you and sending you on your way.

The worst part is that there’s a message on the ride (about deforestation and conservation) that you BARELY get to glimpse as you rush by on your way to the dunk tank. Disney spent a huge amount of time and money planning out this story line and creating a really pretty beautiful looking scene, and the ride almost totally passes it up in about 30 seconds.

I don’t know what you do to fix this ride, but in a park with limited usable space, it just seems like a waste.

So… that’s my list. Like I said… I love this place. I love what it stands for. I love the way it affects people. The only way it can keep it going forever is to Keep Moving Forward.

What stuff would you update? Anyone who LOVES Kali River Rapids?

Next Up – My review of an old Disney animated movie of my choosing.

Snow White's Scary Adventures Says Goodbye

By now any Disney blog / news reader is aware that one of the original Magic Kingdom attractions permanently closed as of last week.

Snow White’s Scary Adventures, one of the oldest “dark rides” in the Disney Universe, closed its mine cars for the last time, and shut down for good, and… you know… there’s a good bit of outrage. I figure I may as well weigh in on my thoughts on the ride that once was, the ride that will eventually replace it, and the nature of closing favorite rides.

Maybe it’s blasphemy, but I was never a particular fan of Snow White’s Scary Adventures. It was a good dark ride, but not in the same league as Pirates, or Haunted Mansion, or Peter Pan. It certainly never had the same sort of niche thing going like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride (and his visit to Hell). In fact, I rode it a half-dozen times in my life (not even once per trip), and I have a hard time picturing anything particularly memorable about it.

Sure, when a fellow blogger points out favorite things about it, I remember those things, and sometimes, I even remember them fondly, but still, I would have never ranked it higher than 4th best attraction at Fantasyland at any point during my Disney fandom. (Pan, Philharmagic, Pooh). Really, I only preferred it over It’s a Small World in practice. I’d be a lot more upset if Small World closed, even if I can barely tolerate a single loop around that insane river.

Note: I shudder to think of the outrage that would accompany any closing of It’s a Small World. That would not go well for anyone. Nothing short of needing to clear room to build a big machine that would successfully resurrect Walt himself would soothe the rage of Disneydom.

I certainly understand the nostalgic aspect Snow White held for many people. On a lot of blogs, the comments are dominated by the point that Fantasyland should have a ride representing the movie that got it all started. Of course, I rarely hear anyone clamoring for Mickey’s Steamboat Adventure or something like that, but you know… Fans. Because it was there for so long, people have these lasting, often life-long memories of riding Snow White’s Scary Adventures, and some of them even identify that ride with their entire perspective on the Disney experience. I can understand that. If The Great Movie Ride ever closed (and let’s be honest… it probably should at the very least be updated some day), I’d be extremely sad. It may not be that great a ride at this point, but I think that’s the standout experience of my first trip to Disney.

Also, if I’m being totally fair, the crazies who are upset about Snow White’s closing are not nearly as crazy as the crazies who were upset about Mr. Toad when it closed in 1998 (there were barely ANY t-shirts made this time around), or the folks who were up-in-arms about Disney removing Figment from Journey into Imagination. The protests here are relatively staid, and polite.

The thing is…

It’s not a good enough ride on its own merits for me to be sad it’s going for that reason (Like I would be with something like Pirates). It’s not an iconic enough ride to be upset about it going away (like I would be about Small World). While it does honor one of the single-most important films ever made, and certainly among the two or three most important to Disney’s history… It’s being replaced by another ride based on the same movie. So really, I don’t see the problem.

I’ve heard a lot of folks express concern that the planned “Mine Car Coaster” won’t be a good replacement. That it seems too likely to be a Goofy’s Barnstormer knock-off, or that it will be too short, or that it’ll be like a watered-down Big Thunder Mountain. This whole attitude just strikes me as defeatist. I haven’t been paying attention to this kind of thing for all that long, but I wonder if this kind of negativity is a new feature of Disney fans, or if there’s been an increase in negativity based on a reduction of trust.

People are quick to point out how poor some of the newer attractions have been in the past few years. They don’t like the Laugh Floor, or they hate Primeval Whirl, or you know… It could end up being as bad as Stitch’s Great Escape. These same people seem pretty quick to forget epically boring rides like The Astro Orbiter, that’ve been there forever. Just because it’s old, doesn’t mean it’s good. On the other hand, I rarely hear a complaint about Soarin’ or Mickey’s Philharmagic or Expedition Everest.

I just wish people would give things a chance. Trust in the company that has given us all so many happy memories for so many years. I’m sure that when the marketing and press for Soarin’ came out, people were skeptical. “Sounds like Star Tours” “I don’t get it.” “What a waste of a huge area.” Turns out that Soarin’ is among the best rides in all of WDW.

I’ve said it many times before, but Walt Disney himself wasn’t a man driven my sentimentality. Sure, he had things that were important to him, and things that were important to honor, but Walt wasn’t just a man who wouldn’t stand in the way of progress. Walt was the man driving the bulldozer.

The Fantasyland expansion is the biggest alteration to The Magic Kingdom since the park opened 41 years ago. There are bound to be some epic failures, but more importantly, there are bound to be some amazing triumphs, and how cool will it be to create new memories?

What if The Seven Dwarfs Mine Train (that’s what they’re calling it) is awesome? What if it becomes your kid’s favorite ride, when they may not have given Snow White’s Scary Adventures the time of day? Disney World was created for you and me, but also for every future guest. I’m okay with letting progress give way. (Incidentally, the ride sounds pretty cool to me… There’s something about independently swinging cars that react to every twist and turn of the track.)

I say give it a chance? It’s certainly better than various princess meet-and-greets, which was the original plan for that area.

Of course, I was just thinking about how badly I wanted another Belle autograph.

Stitch's Great Escape

This is far more fun than anyone has ever had on this ride.

I figure since I’m planning on writing about every ride and attraction at Disney that I will occasionally have to discuss something I don’t really like. There aren’t many of them around, but here and there Disney does create a dud.

Stitch’s Great Escape is indeed a dud.

The saddest thing about it, is that once upon a time, the ride was known as “ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter” and it was legitimately one of the scariest, most insane attractions Disney has ever created. The premise was that you were at an intergalactic space convention at the “Convention Center” and while watching a demonstration of some new teleportation technology, something goes horribly wrong and a bad, scary alien is teleported into the demo room. At different points the lights would go out, you’d feel it stalking you, breathing on you and generally menacing you.

It was actually really scary.

As it turns out, it was too scary for most kids, and the parents of these kids, who complained that their kids had nightmares and refused to ride other rides once they departed from Alien Encounter, because they were afraid something like that would happen on Buzz Lightyear or something.

Personally? I loved it. It was creative, and fun, and provided scares of the type I could get behind (the non-roller coaster variety).

Unfortunately, Disney bowed to the pressure and shut down the ride in late 2003, and not having a fully formed alternate plan (the same site had housed some of the classic early Tomorrowland attractions such as “Flight to the Moon” and “Mission to Mars”), so they hastily patched together a new ride.

Now, let me be totally clear. I don’t begrudge Disney closing down a ride that was largely unpopular with their number one fan demographic. As much as I’d like to think I’m a priority, I know that 10 year olds are far more important to keep happy.

Anyway, in 2004, the ride re-opened with the new, and incredibly popular Stitch from Lilo and Stitch as the main character. The general ride mechanics weren’t really adjusted much. The premise is that you were visiting a space prison instead of a convention, and the “teleportation tube” is now a “containment unit”. Instead of a terrifying alien creating breaking out of the teleportation tube, adorable and hilarious Stitch breaks out of the containment unit and wreaks all kinds of havoc. The lights still go out, you still feel him stalking around, and you can even feel his breath (and smell it too, as Disney has developed a truly disgusting scent that represents Stitch’s breath.)

It’s just… It’s not that good. It’s kinda boring, and anyone who liked the original attraction leaves disappointed that it isn’t as scary. The kids are still kind of scared (there was a kid who sat next to me and freaked right out when Stitch tries to lick your neck. As a result, it remains one of the least popular attractions at the park. Theme Park Insider has it rated as a 3 of 10, which is the lowest rated attraction or ride at Walt Disney World.

I wish Disney had taken the time funny conceptualize something else instead of slapping this revision together so hastily. It just reads as being a bit under-developed. The thing is… I believe it has potential.

Stitch is one of the funniest recent characters, and from what I’ve read/am told, he’s the 2^nd most popular character at Disney World these days (after Mickey). There’s no reason this couldn’t be a really cool experience.

I’ve read that they’re working on making the ride better, and more Disney-level immersive, by adding some additional animation and voice work. I’m just not sure that it’ll ever really do much good. One of the biggest flaws in the attraction in that of the 8 minutes you spend in the main chamber, a full 3 of them are in complete darkness. You’re deprived of the cool animations and animatronics that Disney could be busting out.

The Stitch figure is really really cool, actually. When you do see him, that is. Too much of it involves Stitch menacing you from above (there’s a point where he presses down on your restraint that feels pretty claustrophobic, and was the point where the kids totally bailed. )

I just think they need to shut it down, think it through a little better, rewrite the script, and work on creating a more visual show. It even feels a bit shabby for Disney, which isn’t what I’d say about almost any other attraction in the whole dang place.

So, while I have nostalgic feelings about a lot of attractions, even the marginally bad ones like “El Rio del Tiempo” (I prefer not to call it The Gran Fiesta), I don’t have any real fond feelings for Stitch’s Great Escape. For me, it’s one of the only examples of Disney making a clear downgrade in quality due to public reaction catching them off-guard.


Coming up later this week, I will be posting my ranking from Worst to Best of all Pixar feature films. I’m looking forward to the outrage from my 3 readers about my number one choice.

Farewell to Test Track...For Now

One of the biggest attractions at Epcot closed on Sunday the 15th, and will remain closed for several months to undertake a full re-imagining.

The Test Track as we know it is no more.

I figured I would mark the occasion by sharing my thoughts on the version that closed on Sunday, my thoughts on what I hear about the new version scheduled to open in September.

Test track opened in March of 1999, right between the two trips I took to WDW during college, and I expressly recall not riding it on the family trip down in December of 2000. Oh man… that trip.

One of the things I’ll talk about some time is how that trip convinced me to try to avoid peak times. I remember the line for Test Track, the slick new ride at Epcot was a solid 2 hour wait. If you think that seems crazy long, well… Imagine all of the people who currently spread themselves out over Soarin, Mission Space, Spaceship Earth, and Epcot… Now take away two of those. Then place yourself squarely into the middle of the Christmas season. We’re talking utter madness.

Anyway, because of all that insanity, I didn’t get to ride Test Track until the trip I took in January of 2005.

The gap between trips from December 2000 to January 2005 is referred to as “The Dark Times”

One of the first things I found on my initial visit to Test Track is that it had one of my all time favorite queue lines. Part of the concept of the ride is that General Motors is using the Test Track to run road, weather, and performance tests on their new vehicles.

(GM has been the ride’s sponsor since the beginning… in fact, I learned while writing this post that GM doesn’t just sponsor the ride, but sponsors that tract of land at the park. Like.. no matter what ride is there.)

The queue line is an extension of that idea, where GM shows various pieces of auto equipment, like the seats and doors, taking increasing levels of abuse. I have to say, and perhaps it’s my inner pyromaniac or something, but there’s nothing quite like watching a giant sack of sand plummet ten feet into a test seat, or see a giant blow torch flame up against a windshield, or watch a huge sledge hammer on a pendulum slam into the passenger side door of a car.
I readily admit I’m a bit of a destruction fan.

A big feature of Test Track is the staggered queue. Now…Disney is the master of the staggered queue. They break up the wait you have for a ride or whatever by filtering visitors from the larger corral type areas into little rooms, or bays or the like. Usually in these bays is a sort of introductory video or display of some kind that essentially sets up the experience you’re about to have, from a narrative perspective.
That’s really the most important distinction between Disney and many other theme parks… most of those other places just have you wind around until you board a ride. There’s no theme. There’s no context. Disney, on the other hand, creates a story for you.

I think my favorite iterations of this concept are in Haunted Mansion (with the stretching room) and Soarin (the Patrick the Flight Attendant). Staggering the line this way serves a couple of purposes. It breaks up the wait for the customer, and makes the time go by more quickly. Maybe more importantly, it helps the ride operators control the flow of traffic and estimate wait times.

So Test Track’s “Time Killer” is this video starring John Michael Higgins (for whatever reason I always think it’s Wallace Langham, but then I remember he’s the star of another of the video “Dinosaur” in the Animal Kingdom) where he explains that we’re going to have the chance to experience a test drive where GM puts our car through its paces using different weather conditions and terrains. It actually sounds kind of cool as is, but Disney puts their little wrinkle of humor and mischief into it, and he decides that we’ll get some extra fun tests. And of course, they’re probably dangerous and ill-advised in some way.
I think it’d be fun to have just people from Christopher Guest films, and people who played tertiary characters on 1990s sitcoms. There should be a whole cadre of people in these intro videos. Like… the guy who played the main barista on Friends. Wayne Knight. The curley-haired guy from The Ellen show. Eugene Levy. You get the picture. Also.. I saw A Few Good Men recently… Christopher Guest plays an expert witness and it’s so crazy watching him play a normal person.

And indeed, after going through a general obstacle course, and testing out different functions, your car gets sent into the “Corrosive Rain” room or whatever, and it’s cute and kinda funny, and there are indeed a couple of decent thrills. At one point you almost get hit by an oncoming semi-truck. At another, your car accelerates toward a barrier, which falls away at the very last second. Fun times.

The real attraction of the ride is the speed test where the car speeds around an outdoor track at 65 miles per hour, which isn’t all that fast, but it does feel fast in the context of the ride.
The barrier thing also helps ramp up the heartbeat. Especially if it’s your first time riding.

Overall, it was a fun diversion, but I wouldn’t have ever counted it among my favorite rides at Epcot. Of the main attractions in Future World, it’s one I’d have considered skippable if the line wasn’t short, but if the choices were to rush to Test Track or rush to Soarin… there wasn’t really a choice.

I have to say that I think my feelings (that Test Track isn’t in the league of the better attractions) are fairly rare, because the ride was always crowded. Not only that, but it’s fairly out of character for Disney to institute a full overhaul on a ride that was only 12 years old. In some cases, that kind of change is necessitated by the elements becoming too dated (say… many of the elements of Tomorrowland), but Test Track wasn’t dated. Cars are, essentially, the same as they were. Sure there are hybrids and some other new kinds of options, but for the most part, not much has changed in the automotive world.

Part of me wonders if this was a financial decision. Disney hasn’t made a secret that the economy has made large additions difficult. It’s really amazing, actually, that the Fantasyland addition is progressing so quickly. I would imagine that overhauling a pre-existing ride is less expensive than building a whole new one.
I’m pretty excited about the Avatar plans too. I’m not even a fan of the movie particularly, but I think it’s the kind of jolt Animal Kingdom needs.

Anywhooo… here’s what I’ve heard the new version will entail;

First… Instead of being sponsored by the whole of GM, it’ll be specifically Chevrolet, and all of the products in the final showroom will be Chevy products. This is a minor change.

Second… it seems that the plan is to a pre-show where riders will be able to "design" a new car for testing in the Chevrolet Design Center (I assume this will be all computerized, sort of like the thing on the new Spaceship Earth). When they’re done, they will board the existing six-passenger ride vehicles, to be known as "SimCars", to see how their design fares on the Center's driving course.

This sounds cool, but I do sometimes get concerned that Disney will rely too much on computer hocus pocus, and lose their focus on theme and story. If you think about the big additions lately, you’re looking at (among others) Spaceship Earth re-do, Toy Story Mania, and Mission Space. All of which are heavily reliant on computer simulation. Maybe that’s just the way things are going.

It all sounds very fancy, and definitely goes along with Disney’s Epcot vision where interactivity is the new goal.

I’m not sure that any of it appeals to me all that much, though. I think it will depend greatly on how educational Disney tries to get with all of it, versus how fun the ride is. I’m willing to be educated on aerodynamics and tire performance and all that as long as the ride itself is fun.

I can picture giving your car metal tires or something that would cause all kinds of skidding and grinding and whatnot, and that would be pretty entertaining. You see… I’m totally the person that tries to be silly when given interactive choices. So is the Tofu Muchacha, actually. When we ride Spaceship Earth, it’s not unusual for us to listen to the whole ride in German or Japanese, because we think it’s fun. It’s pretty common for us to make crazy faces into the camera that takes our picture. It’s certainly common for us to randomly select the “Lifestyle” options at the end and just let the silliness flow.
C’mon… tell me that giving your car brick tires wouldn’t be kinda fun. You can’t do it.

I hope that the new Test Track allows riders to mix in the silly along with the educational. I’m sure there are going to be kids who want to design the perfect race car, with perfect suspension and handling, and they should be able to try to do just that, but if I want a car with curved axels… that should be allowed too.
I always thought of myself as the kind of person who would go into one of those roller coaster simulators and try to break the track. (you know… if I wasn’t terrified at the very thought of it.)

The Test Track has never been one of my favorite attractions at Epcot, but it has always been an enjoyable experience. I am excited about the prospect of a more interactive ride where the guest is the tour guide. I think maybe it’s just what the attraction needs. I think at the start, the Imagineers were looking to build a thrill ride, and it just doesn’t hold up that way. There are too many other more thrilling rides out there. Maybe audiences are jaded, but that’s just a fact.

What Disney is planning changes the entire dynamic and encourages the inner nerd to come out and have a field day. I am all for it.

Imprinted; Loving Disney

I hate to admit it, but it does sort of look like a golf ball in this picture.

It’s a little disconcerting to know that the one and only time where the concept of “imprinting” (creepily introduced in the Twilight books) actually applies to a real life situation is when I try to explain why I love Walt Disney World.

“Imprinting” is described as this sort of enduring love that takes on whatever form the parties need at that given time. At points it could be the love of a brother, a friend, a protector… Whatever best fits the situation.

After trying for the last 15 years of my life to explain exactly why I love Walt Disney World so much, it takes the god-forsaken Twilight story to really articulate it best.

Congratulations, Stephenie Meyer. I still don’t like your books.

When I was a young teen, and I visited Disney World for the first time in August of 1993, I wasn’t prepared to be so taken with a theme park. Don’t get me wrong… I was excited to go. I’d wanted to visit it ever since those ads showing Mickey waiving from the top of Spaceship Earth aired some time in the mid-Eighties. Or maybe it was when Keisha Knight Pulliam (Rudi on the Cosby Show) showed up riding Dumbo in some commercial. Or maybe it was… remember when Michael Eisner showed up in promos during the breaks of the Disney Sunday Night Movie? There was this one that always amazed me where they promoting their new attraction at Disneyland; Star Tours.

I mean… I was excited, but I also didn’t know what to expect. Sure, I’d heard of a couple rides, and I knew that people loved going, but in general it was a mystery.

I should also mention that I was the biggest wuss of any thirteen year old around when it came to rides. I was terrified of roller coasters. Well, really I was terrified of any thrill ride at all. And “thrill” could probably have been defined pretty loosely.

Partly due to that wussiness, I was probably just as nervous about a 4 day trip to Disney as I was excited. I was the kid who’d make a trip to King’s Island and make my dad regret the money he’d shelled out for a ticket. I was basically a glorified hat rack at a traditional theme park. Let’s face it… I still am. The Tofu Muchacha (My girlfriend) can attest to that. . What can I say? I just don’t like hurtling to the Earth.

What was I going to do for four full days if I was too scared to ride the rides?

What made me love it so much as a young, wussy teen was that I was finally presented with a theme park where thrills didn’t mean taking my life in my own hands. Where artistry and spectacle were just as important as speed and height.

When I was a kid, my trips to Disney World were completely new, visceral experiences. Entire days filled with joy and excitement and like… insane sensory stimulation.

The saturation discovery was so thick, so intense that I’d lie in the hotel room after a full day, and it would take me hours to fall asleep, despite my utter exhaustion. It was a fully emmersive aural adventure from start to finish. What may be most amazing is that because so little of the experience had anything to do with seeing how quickly and violently a ride could throw me at the ground, I even started to face my fear of rides while I visited. I knew that Disney’s agenda was to amaze me, not freak me the hell out. They wouldn’t do me wrong. So, slowly I tried some of the bigger rides. Space Mountain was a roller coaster, and it didn’t make me want to puke, and maybe if I squinted I kind of enjoyed it. Big Thunder Mountain was actually… fun. Dude…Progress.

The moment I’d get home from a trip, I would fantasize about going back. I would read about it, and plot out the familiar pathways in my head. I'd ride The Great Movie Ride in my dreams. I’d imagine being picked for the Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular. If I closed my eyes, I could hear Jeremy Irons’ voice talking about “Our… Spaceship Earth.” Looking back, I’m insanely lucky the internet didn’t really exist back then, or I would have been difficult to drag away from the millions of message boards and forums and blogs that are out there now.

Over time, I managed to make Walt Disney World even bigger and grander in my mind than it was in life. It was a living thing for me, somehow.

As I got older, I changed. I got a little braver. I started to appreciate different things. Humor. Detail. Maybe even a little thrill… I developed a more-than-passing interest in the man behind the parks, my hero Walt Disney. I started to notice the storytelling in Disney movies that made them stand apart from the riff raff that otherwise pervaded.

I matured, and Disney World could have lost me, but instead it became the place I needed it to become.

I no longer go to Disney and seek out that sensory stimulation. I rarely still re-live rides over and over once I'm home again. A trip can keep me satisfied for much longer than it once did. I’ve started to see the flaws... The crowds, and the... crowds. And sometimes I notice a few more of the scuffs or strings or ride mechanics than I once did. I’ve even developed a love for sometimes visiting…gulp… other places.

But you know...Though I may enjoy the views of the Oregon Coast, or the devilish excess of Las Vegas, or the fresh air, scenery, and family in Denver… I still love Disney World more than any place on Earth.

For me now, Disney World is about the details and moments. Little ones, big ones, quirky ones.

Maybe it's the number of times I've been there, and my familiarity with so much that I'm more comfortable, but it's the details that bring me back now. It's the little things that make my heart beat faster, and a tear come to my eye, and a smile creep across my lips as I type this. The personal moments that cross my mind at the funniest times and make me want to go back again and again…

Everyone has their own favorites… For me there are so many that I would have a hard time narrowing them down.

Maybe it’s the Mickey Mouse towel arrangement laying on the bed when you first check into your hotel room. Maybe it’s the scent of oranges that always makes me think of Soarin’. Maybe it’s that moment where you can’t even help yourself, but you get giggly when Goofy gives you a wave from the autograph line. Maybe it’s that part in pirates where the drunk pirate goes “here kitty kitty kitty”. Maybe it’s the discovery that Jungle Cruise is so much cooler at night. Maybe it’s just sharing a ridiculously messy plate of beignets with the person you love before you hit the park on a given morning.

In the end, the reason I love Disney is because Disney found a way to adapt to my likes and interests as I grew from youth to adult without selling their souls to please me. They found the beautiful balance between innovation and nostalgia that makes every visit a special and unique experience. This balance creates memories that stick with you forever, because they aren’t cheap.

There are really so many moments and details and little pieces of memories that I could literally break down each ride, each street and walkway, each show that I could write a whole blog on each. Maybe, eventually I will.

In the coming weeks, months, and maybe even years, I’ll write a lot of words on all things Disney, and while I’d never purport to be an expert on Disney World, the Disney Company, or Walt Disney himself…

One thing is for sure…

I am an expert on MY Disney experience, and that’s what this blog is to me. It’s my love letter to a place, and an organization, and an idea that makes me feel inspired, emotional, nostalgic, and awed.

I sincerely hope you enjoy.