Disney's Response to My Bitching

Two months ago I posted by complaint letter to Disneyland. I was upset, certainly, and I was disappointed.

I promised to post their response, and I've been sitting on it all this time, because...well... It made me sad. I don't want to say anything else before posting it.

First, as a refresher, here's my letter to them:

Hello Disney Customer Service

I’ve taken a while to decide if I wanted to write this e-mail. I’m not a complainer anyway, but it’s especially difficult for me to complain about anything “Disney”.

I am a very big Disney fan. A defender. A Walt Disney aficionado. I’m a Charter Member of D23. I’m a current Disneyland Annual Pass holder, and I’ve been a Walt Disney World Annual Pass holder in the past. I’ve visited Walt Disney World literally dozens of times. I have collected Disney Pins for 13 years, and have spent thousands and thousands of dollars.  I have been a loyal lover of The Mouse for many, many years and I am certain I will continue to be for many years to come.

All of that said, after a lot of thought, I’ve decided to bring some issues I had on my last trip to Disneyland, May 9^th to 11^th of 2013, specifically regarding my stay at Paradise Pier.

The short version is that I failed to read the details of my hotel reservation, and didn’t realize that the “free parking” extended to annual pass holders does not apply to hotel parking. When I asked about it, I was told that the “free parking” associated with the annual pass only applies to theme park parking. I asked if I would be able to park overnight at the theme parks to take advantage of the “Free Parking” and was informed that I could not, and that my car would likely be towed.

In essence one of the great benefits of having an annual pass is nullified by my choice to stay on site at Paradise Pier.

This policy will almost certainly prevent me from staying on-site at Disneyland ever again.

I specifically chose to stay at Paradise Pier so that I could walk to and from the park and create a more immersive experience (similar to the kind created by staying on site at Walt Disney World). I realize I’m not being deprived of that experience by being charged for parking, but there’s also a “feeling” I look for while visiting Disney. When I go to Disneyland I want to get the “feeling” that my visit is valued; that my loyalty is valued. I am certain that part of valuing a customer is making them feel that they’re getting something of value in return. I believe we all implicitly agree to spend 30 dollars a person on a mediocre breakfast buffet in exchange for the amazing feelings our kids have when they see Mickey. I believe it’s perfectly reasonable to be asked to wait for an hour to ride ‘Soarin’ Over California’, because what you get in return is nothing short of an amazing experience. Value.

I’m certain you are aware of this, but staying on site at Disneyland is a significantly more expensive proposition than staying at most of the other hotels anywhere nearby. I assumed the additional cost willingly, believing I’d have a more valuable experience in exchange for the higher cost. Instead, in exchange for the extra cost of staying in a “Disneyland resort” I was confronted with even more additional fees. I’m not even suggesting that you don’t charge for parking, but I do know there are more seamless methods of carrying out these fees without making the customer feel like they’re being shaken down. Far be it from me to begrudge Disney from making your money, but the more transparently capitalistic you become, the less enchanted I become.

I called the hotel where I stayed last time (Sheraton Anaheim). They also charge for parking (*though their rate is $14 dollars per night as opposed to your $15).  They also charge significantly less per night to stay (about half). So my question is…If I’m not getting ridiculously great, seamlessly executed service at your Disney hotel, why wouldn’t I save the money, stay at Sheraton Anaheim, and simply drive the .5 miles to park for free much closer to the entrance?

It’s so disappointing to say this, but I sincerely doubt I’ll ever stay at a Disneyland Resort Hotel again unless I can be sure I won’t have this kind of cold experience the next time.

Listen… I know this is ultimately a small thing. 30 dollars for parking in the grand scheme of a Disneyland visit is nothing. It’s 3 pins. It’s not even a full dinner for one at The Blue Bayou. It’s nothing.

And yet, truly it’s everything, because for so many years I’ve defended my visits as a grown man to Disneyland and Walt Disney World. Sure… it costs more, but Disney does it right. Disney makes you feel special. Disney makes you glad to give them your money, because even though they’re a business they make you feel like they’d be there for free.

It’s such a little thing, this silly parking policy, but it’s taken away my feeling that I’m valued.

I’ll always go to Disneyland and Disney World, because they’re as much a part of who I am, and what I love, as where I went to high school or where I grew up. I just don’t know that I’ll ever wear quite the same shade of rose colored glasses again.

Just thought you should know.

Sincerely,
Daniel P. Cohen, Phone -***-***-*075
Annual Pass #********431

Here's Disney's response:

Dear Mr. Cohen:

Thank you for your e-mail to the DISNEYLAND® Resort. We appreciate you 
taking the time to share your experience with us. 

We are concerned with the disappointments you mentioned in your e-mail. 
As you are aware, our goal is to provide the finest service and 
accommodations. Please be assured we do take our Guest comments very 
seriously, and take them into consideration when evaluating our 
operation. Your remarks have been shared with the appropriate leaders so
they are aware of your experiences. 

As stated in the "Annual Passholder Terms and Conditions" The parking 
benefit, as applicable, is subject to availability and valid only at 
pay-on entry lots at the Disneyland Resort. Regrettably, Annual 
Passholders who have parking on their Annual Passes do not qualify for 
free parking at any of our Resort Hotels or at the Downtown Disney 
Parking Lot. We do apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused 
you or your family. Please accept our sincerest apologies. To view the 
"Annual Passholder Terms and Conditions" you may see them at the 
following website address: http://disneyland.disney.go.com/faq/apterms/

Again, thank you for contacting us. Comments such as yours are welcomed 
in that they assist us in evaluating our operation and our success in 
generating happiness for our Guests. We hope you will have the 
opportunity to visit the DISNEYLAND® Resort soon and that our 
attractions and entertainment will delight you in every way.

Sincerely, 

Terry Sampson 

DISNEYLAND® Resort
Guest Experience Services

I can't decide if maybe my expectations were too high, but this seems like a blow-off, doesn't it? 

I'd like to hear your thoughts.

I'm almost ready to return to blogging about Disney and the good stuff. I just haven't totally gotten over this yet.

A Rare Complaint

Below is the exact e-mail I sent to Disney Customer Service regarding my recent stay. I have not yet received a reply. I'd be curious to know what other fans think of what I had to say.

______________

Hello Disney Customer Service

I’ve taken a while to decide if I wanted to write this e-mail. I’m not a complainer anyway, but it’s especially difficult for me to complain about anything “Disney”.

I am a very big Disney fan. A defender. A Walt Disney aficionado. I’m a Charter Member of D23. I’m a current Disneyland Annual Pass holder, and I’ve been a Walt Disney World Annual Pass holder in the past. I’ve visited Walt Disney World literally dozens of times. I have collected Disney Pins for 13 years, and have spent thousands and thousands of dollars.  I have been a loyal lover of The Mouse for many, many years and I am certain I will continue to be for many years to come.

All of that said, after a lot of thought, I’ve decided to bring some issues I had on my last trip to Disneyland, May 9^th to 11^th of 2013, specifically regarding my stay at Paradise Pier.

The short version is that I failed to read the details of my hotel reservation, and didn’t realize that the “free parking” extended to annual pass holders does not apply to hotel parking. When I asked about it, I was told that the “free parking” associated with the annual pass only applies to theme park parking. I asked if I would be able to park overnight at the theme parks to take advantage of the “Free Parking” and was informed that I could not, and that my car would likely be towed.

In essence one of the great benefits of having an annual pass is nullified by my choice to stay on site at Paradise Pier.

This policy will almost certainly prevent me from staying on-site at Disneyland ever again.

I specifically chose to stay at Paradise Pier so that I could walk to and from the park and create a more immersive experience (similar to the kind created by staying on site at Walt Disney World). I realize I’m not being deprived of that experience by being charged for parking, but there’s also a “feeling” I look for while visiting Disney. When I go to Disneyland I want to get the “feeling” that my visit is valued; that my loyalty is valued. I am certain that part of valuing a customer is making them feel that they’re getting something of value in return. I believe we all implicitly agree to spend 30 dollars a person on a mediocre breakfast buffet in exchange for the amazing feelings our kids have when they see Mickey. I believe it’s perfectly reasonable to be asked to wait for an hour to ride ‘Soarin’ Over California’, because what you get in return is nothing short of an amazing experience. Value.

I’m certain you are aware of this, but staying on site at Disneyland is a significantly more expensive proposition than staying at most of the other hotels anywhere nearby. I assumed the additional cost willingly, believing I’d have a more valuable experience in exchange for the higher cost. Instead, in exchange for the extra cost of staying in a “Disneyland resort” I was confronted with even more additional fees. I’m not even suggesting that you don’t charge for parking, but I do know there are more seamless methods of carrying out these fees without making the customer feel like they’re being shaken down. Far be it from me to begrudge Disney from making your money, but the more transparently capitalistic you become, the less enchanted I become.

I called the hotel where I stayed last time (Sheraton Anaheim). They also charge for parking (*though their rate is $14 dollars per night as opposed to your $15).  They also charge significantly less per night to stay (about half). So my question is…If I’m not getting ridiculously great, seamlessly executed service at your Disney hotel, why wouldn’t I save the money, stay at Sheraton Anaheim, and simply drive the .5 miles to park for free much closer to the entrance?

It’s so disappointing to say this, but I sincerely doubt I’ll ever stay at a Disneyland Resort Hotel again unless I can be sure I won’t have this kind of cold experience the next time.

Listen… I know this is ultimately a small thing. 30 dollars for parking in the grand scheme of a Disneyland visit is nothing. It’s 3 pins. It’s not even a full dinner for one at The Blue Bayou. It’s nothing.

And yet, truly it’s everything, because for so many years I’ve defended my visits as a grown man to Disneyland and Walt Disney World. Sure… it costs more, but Disney does it right. Disney makes you feel special. Disney makes you glad to give them your money, because even though they’re a business they make you feel like they’d be there for free.

It’s such a little thing, this silly parking policy, but it’s taken away my feeling that I’m valued.

I’ll always go to Disneyland and Disney World, because they’re as much a part of who I am, and what I love, as where I went to high school or where I grew up. I just don’t know that I’ll ever wear quite the same shade of rose colored glasses again.

Just thought you should know.

Sincerely,
Daniel P. Cohen, Phone -***-***-*075
Annual Pass #********431

Escape from Tomorrow

A movie called ‘Escape from Tomorrow’ has recently come to my attention. That’s not unusual in and of itself, as I probably see more new movies than just about anyone. The unusual thing about this particular movie is that I hadn’t heard of it, and the majority of it was filmed at Disney World.

“What!?!” – That was my reaction when I first heard about it.

The movie premiered this year at the Sundance Film Festival to little pre-showing fanfare, and by all accounts isn’t that great of a movie as a whole.  Though it’s being lauded for having an interesting visual style, the “horror” and script are being written off as average. There’s a lot of speculation that it wouldn’t have been accepted to such a major festival without the Ninja-Disney cache.

It was shot, in secret, on small hand-held cameras and other subtle or “touristy” video cameras. They did this, because Disney has never authorized any outside productions to film in their parks. They’ve always been extremely protective over their branding and their images. Because of this, the movie is very unlikely to ever see wide release, since the movie not only takes place there, but depends on the location as part of the story, and Disney is pretty unlikely to allow this movie they had no hand in creating using their images. As of now, the only known showing planned for it is next week in Ebertfest. And then that’s it. Maybe it’s gone forever. Maybe you’ll be able to scrounge up a bootleg somewhere.

Thinking about this movie, and my desire to see it, and my overall love of Disney and Disney Parks has raised several questions for me. I’m going to take some time to toss them around.

First… What’s the issue?

Well, I guess it depends on who you ask, but the main issue would seem to be that Disney doesn’t want people using their images (characters, park rides, names, etc..) without their permission. Now, when last I heard, Disney hadn’t released any official “Cease and desist” statement. They simply said they were aware of the movie, and that was it. The idealist in me would like to think that Disney would let it go, and not stop it, but I can’t see that happening. So basically there’s this movie that won’t be purchased by a distributor because there’s a good chance Disney will just sue the daylights out of them if they ever try to release it. If the movie was undeniably good, maybe someone would take the risk, but not for this.

Second… If it’s not that good, who cares?

That’s a good point. I think there’s an obvious niche audience that just loves to see Disney images, and is sort of titillated by this sort of illicit depiction of “It’s a Small World” and “Space Mountain” in this unsanctioned way. There’s something kinda fun in the notion that you’re breaking the rules. Even the most staunch of Disney fans will likely admit to having had fantasies of hiding on The People Mover until after close and wandering the park all night. None of us wants to do damage, but all of us wants an unforgettable, unique Disney experience. This movie represents that unique experience, and there’s value in that to a Disney Fan. Someone got past the security. Someone figured out ways to perform whole scenes of dialogue amidst the unknowing crowd and on rides. It’s fascinating just to think about it.  Basically, there’s a small audience of big Disney fans who just wanna see it out of curiosity. That’s who cares, and I don’t think that’s enough.

Let’s say it was great? Shouldn’t it be released?

The thing that I’m reminded of most of all in regards to this situation is the Metallica vs. Napster case. For anyone who’s forgotten, Metallica sued Napster (at the time the world’s largest file sharing program) because their songs were being shared from user to user without Metallica’s consent. They insisted over and over it wasn’t about the millions of dollars they weren’t making through legitimate sales of their songs (that’s probably not true totally, since I’d definitely care about the money for sure), but rather that they believed that Metallica alone should have control over how their music (their “intellectual property”) should be made available.

Essentially, if Disney puts up a fight, or refuses to give consent to the filmmakers to use their images, Disney will be arguing the same thing. If Space Mountain appears in some movie, Disney wants to have the ONLY say in how. If Mickey Mouse is a major plot point in a story, you can bet Disney’s name is the only one on it.

The argument made by the other side is emotional and complicated and certainly worth considering.

“Disney is the most powerful entertainment company on Earth. It’s not going to hurt them”
“Disney has enough money. They should just let it go.”
“Shouldn’t they be encouraging young film makers?”
“What about all the fans who want to see the Disney stuff?”
“What happens to all the money the people spent making the movie?”

These are basically all valid, emotion-based questions, with boring, unemotional answers that all make sense to me, but the answer that resonates the most with me is this:

Maybe the money doesn’t matter to them, because them crazy rich, and maybe they’d like to encourage young filmmakers, and maybe this film wouldn’t hurt their image, and obviously they love the fans, but ultimately it’s not about THIS movie or THESE filmmakers. It’s about setting the precedent. There’s no way Disney is going to open the door to film makers not under their umbrella. Maybe this one movie doesn’t harm them, but what about all of the subsequent movies made in the same way? Does Disney have to give them all a pass? Even if it’s a case-by-case thing, I can’t see them wanting to encourage the practice at all.

And lemme talk about this “Doesn’t Disney have enough money?” argument for just a second, because it’s the same one leveled by Napster against Metallica, and it’s just as stupid now.

Disney doesn’t have enough money. Maybe to you they do, but they don’t. Their entire purpose is to make money… (Some would argue that their purpose is to entertain, to which I’d say… “that’s cute”…)  and the only way they make money is off of their own intellectual property (or the legal purchase of George Lucas’ intellectual property, as it were). If someone else is making money off of it, then it’s more difficult for them to. Even if the actual amount of money is small, I have a very difficult time saying they shouldn’t be able to make that money.

I guess, after talking through this with you, my position is pretty clear. The scenario is much less muddy to me than it was before I started writing.

Yes, it’s kinda cool that this dude made this movie and got creative to use a place nobody’s ever used before.

Yes, I wanna see it.

Yes, in a perfect world where nobody has any monetary or creative stake in such things, it’d be available for all the world to see…

But in the end, I was on Metallica’s side against Napster, even though I used Napster. I’m on Disney’s (presumptive) side in this. I care more about the Disney brand than I do about this movie. I am protective of their brand. I like that Disney is also. There was a time in the late 20s and 30s where Disney didn’t license their merchandise and it was bootlegged and replicated all over the place. Disney lost countless millions during that time when all of these other companies put out junk with Mickey and Donald on the side and passed it off as Disney. They have the right to protect their creative property. In fact, I’d go so far as to argue they have the responsibility to do so.

If they let THIS go, couldn’t there be an argument made that if I scrounged up enough money, I could buy a chunk of land in Iowa, and build my own Disney World? How is it different?

I applaud the director for his moxie. I hope to see the movie some day, but I won’t pay to see it.

A friend will be going to Ebertfest next week and will be seeing the movie. If they blog about it, I’ll be sure to point you all in that direction. I’m certain fascinated by the whole thing. But to me, the fascination is where it stops.

March Magic! Heroine's Bracket Round 2

Hi Everybody!

Last round I selected the winners, and while I might have made some errors, I feel good about the results. I'm certain I could go through and select winners, but then how do I know if I'm being fair, or just picking the characters from my favorite movies, so...

This round? You guys vote.

Snow White vs. Mulan
	Snow White
	Mulan
pollcode.com free polls

Ariel vs. Belle
	Ariel
	Belle
pollcode.com free polls

Princess Atta vs. Tiana
	Princess Atta
	Tiana
pollcode.com free polls

Merida Vs. Lady
	Merida
	Lady the Dog
pollcode.com free polls

I can't wait to see what you guys come up with!

March Magic! Heroine's Bracket Round 1

Can you smell the excitement in the room, ladies and gentlemen? Why are the bumps on your arms all goosey? Why are the neckhairs on your... ehm … neck standing on end?

The First March Magic Tournament starts today!

I'm here, you're here, and the heroines are here to rumble, so let's get started.

Our first match:Ariel vs. Wendy Lady
It's just a match of legends here in the first round.

On the one side, we have Ariel. A mermaid. A princess. A ginger. The lady who started a whole new generation of Princess fans down the path toward wishing for thingamabobs of their very own. What a beautiful voice. What an incredible team of talking fish.

On the other, we have Wendy Lady... The sweet, generous voice of reason in the youthful, immature world of Peter Pan, the terminal boy. Wendy was often the only person to call Peter on his BS, and make him stop being such a jerkface. She even went nose to nose with the vicious and terrifying Captain Hook.

Honestly, though, what it all comes down to is this... Who's the more enduring character? It's hard to argue against Ariel the trailblazer princess of the new golden age of Disney. I literally don't know a single girl around my age who doesn't know every word of Part of Your World. I love Wendy, but let's face it... Even within the confines of Peter Pan, she's not the first female character folks think of.. So the winner here is Ariel.
Belle vs. Lilo
If I really plan on contending that Lilo could win this, I should probably take a scientific approach, rather than going with my gut, and just simply announcing Belle as the winner. I'd love it if this were a tighter battle, and I do think that Lilo would have a better chance in other match-ups, but Belle is the perfect woman. Super smart, beautiful, brave, honorable, open minded, sweet... I mean... she's incredible. And she sings like a damned dream.

What if she's too perfect? Who can possibly live up to her standard? Maybe it's better to be a little damaged. And sassy. And in love with a very bizarre, blue dog... Like Lilo!

No. ..It's Belle.
Lady vs. Jasmine
Lady has a lot going for her. She was based on a real dog. (many think it was Walt's dog, but in fact it was the dog of animator/writer Joe Grant.) She saves the baby from that crazy rat. She also is half of one of the most romantic moments between two dogs ever put on film. Not to mention... Who doesn't love a cocker spaniel?

Jasmine is another beauty of the new guard. Headstrong, idealistic, adventurous. Plus, she has a really cool pet tiger. I love that tiger. Here's the thing, though... Jasmine is the reason for a lot of the action (the kerfuffle in the market, the prince parade, the whole hour-glass thing..), but she's not really a decider in the action. She's a damsel in distress without the glowing personality of say a... Snow White or Cinderella.

I'm actually kind of shocked at even myself, but the winner is Lady. Because she's a cute puppy and rats are gross.
Cinderella vs. Princess Atta
One of my Twitter followers was pleased I included Princess Atta. I actually find her inclusion a no-brainer. She's very heroic and, I think more importantly, she's the only princess who really has ruling to do. Hopper is a real threat to her people (ants). She makes real choices that affect her people. She even makes mistakes that truly matter.

Cinderella is basically the quintessential Disney Princess. Beautiful, beloved, heartbreaking backstory. Aside from that, I'm not sure I have much to say about her. I feel like it's blasphemy, but I mostly find her boring. Her movie is basically a straight romance, where the true star is the story, and less the stars themselves. I know there's the whole business with the animals all loving her, and the insanely abusive family, but it's not all that interesting.

The winner? Perhaps shockingly... Princess Atta.
Rapunzel vs. Snow White
I really love Tangled, and I think Rapunzel is a funny, unique character. She's also one of the only characters in this bracket with actual super powers. I just think that at this point, she's not the juggernaut of animated film that Snow White is. Snow White is the Grande Dame of this bracket, and while I don't think her historical importance is going to carry her through every round, but it's gonna get her past Rapunzel. Snow White with her totally obnoxious voice... Wait..

I know that Snow White is like super charming or whatever, and all of the creatures in the forest instantly love her, and the dwarves are entranced and the huntsman sees her beauty, but what does she DO? She runs away and she's kind and treats the special dwarf like he's just a sweet regular guy and got Grumpy to love, and made all of the dwarves cry their dwarfy eyes out, but... I mean... It's kinda boring, too, right?

And there's Rapunzel! She has Flynn Ryder, and a frying pan, and that beautiful lantern festival, and that adorable chameleon, and all of the crazy villains who just fall madly in love with her...

See? This is my personal preference in film making (Tangled is more entertaining to me than Snow White) interfering with my judgment here. Snow White is the winner. I just can't bring myself to knock out the most important heroine in all of Disneydom in the first round. I just can't.
Merida vs. Vanellope Von Shweetz
I like this match-up, because there's no advantage of history. These ladies starred in movies that came out in the same year and are both part of thee same era of film making styles.

Merida is a fantastic character. She's... ehem.... brave. She's capable. She's got a sharp intellect. She's clever. Vanellope is a dreamer. She's plucky. She's the underdog.

This is such an even match on its face. Both of these ladies are fantastic heroines, so I've gotta base it on how these characters fit into their respective films.

Unfortunately for our Vanilla friend Vanellope, she can't match-up to Merida. Brave is Merida's movie. It's about her. It's about her discovering her own path while also learning to appreciate her place within a certain society. Vanellope is in a movie called “Wreck-it Ralph”, which happens to be about a guy named... Wreck-it Ralph. She's a great supporting character, and she's soooo endearing, but when the match is as close as this one, I have to use something to choose. And I choose Merida.
Tiana vs. Alice

I like Alice and all, but she's really not long for this tournament. She's probably only the 50^th most memorable or interesting thing about that movie. She makes all kinds of dumb decisions (who stumbles across a bottle found in a hole and thinks “I should totes drink that?”).

On the other side, we have Tiana. She's got a historical value all her own, being the first African American princess. She's the first American princess at all (that I can think of), actually, unless you count Pocahontas. Also, it should absolutely be mentioned that she's a great role model and a great character. She doesn't dream of riches and castles. She simply dreams of opening up a great restaurant. She's a hard worker even.

Lastly... I have this fondness for The Princess and the Frog, because it's just a fantastically drawn, beautifully realized movie that never really gets the attention it deserves..
Tiana is the easy winner.
Aurora vs. Mulan
Maybe I'm biased for the characters from my own childhood and teen years over the ones from the “old days”, but even by the standards of those movies, I'd venture to say that Aurora, or “Sleeping Beauty”, is a pretty poor excuse for a “great character”. She mostly just avoids danger. She meets Phillip, obviously, but let's face it... Sleeping Beauty is a classic because of Maleficent. She's one of the most memorable villains in all of film history. It's difficult to grade a character very high when her most lasting attribute is that she sleeps.

Mulan, on the other hand, is a total badass. She's a feudal princess AND a warrior. She's incredibly beautiful, and yet also capable of credibly passing as a man for most of the movie. She sings great songs, she becomes a Samurai.. She FREAKING SAVES CHINA. Also? She has a dragon. I think we all know at this point after 2 seasons of Game of Thrones that having a dragon or two around gives you some serious cred.
Mulan in a landslide.

So there you have it folks! Round one of the Heroines Bracket is in the books with some surprises emerging.

Our random match-ups for Round 2 are:
Snow White vs Mulan

Ariel vs. Belle

Princess Atta vs. Tiana

Merida vs. Lady

The difference for this round and for every round from here on is that while I'm still going to randomly pair the winners, you get to vote!

The polls open Monday for Round 2.

March Magic! "Selection Saturday"

Hello Disney Fans, and welcome to the first Disney Character Tournament, or as we here at WDTV affectionately call it "March Magic!".

I'm your host, founder, and judge the Beefy Muchacho.

Before we get to announcing our brackets, let me take a minute to bring all you fans up to speed on this event.

Not long ago I read a tweet from FOTB (Friend of the Blog) @DJPhob , who suggested a Heros vs. Villains Tournament. Having never seen an idea I couldn't make almost too unwieldy, I decided to expand  this idea into a "Greatest Disney Character" tournament, which brings us to TONIGHT!

Much like a certain basketball tournament that shares this same magical month, our bracket is divided into four regions of 16 contestants each. All of them itching to carve out their own Cinderella Story. (See what I did there?)

Those four regions are:
Heroines: A region where all of our favorite Disney leading ladies, Heroines, and Princesses will duke it out for a chance to compete in our Fantasy Four.

Heroes: The bracket where all of the famous dudes in our Disney universe battle to make their way to outshine those princesses for once.

Sidekicks: All of these side-kicks, or side-kick duos have dreamed for years of taking the spotlight for their own, and now they have their chance. Which Second Banana will rise above the rest?

Villains: The Duke Universities and New York Yankees of our little melee, which Villain will have a shot at taking down all of these do-gooders once and for all?

Unlike that other tournament in March, we don't have seeds. The matchups are selected at random from our fields of 16 competitors per region. Oh, and it should be mentioned that original legends like Mickey, Donald, Goofy and other stars of shorts and compilations like Chip and Dale, the Three Pigs, and other stars are not eligible this year. This tournament is for Animated Feature stars only..

Each match-up will be judged by me, based on entirely arbitrary and inconsistent criteria, so we all can be sure there'll be plenty of dissent, and I wel.... Wait! I'm getting word in my ear piece that the selection committee has emerged from the ready room and are about to announce our first region, the Heroines!

In the Heroines Region, the first round match-ups will be:

Ariel vs. Wendy Lady

Belle vs. Lilo

Lady vs. Jasmine


Cinderella vs. Princess Atta

Rapunzel vs. Snow White

Merida vs. Vanellope Von Shweetz

Tiana vs. Alice

Aurora vs. Mulan

Wow... Those are some truly interesting match-ups here. To imagine that one of Wendy or Ariel won't make it out of the first round! Young superstar Rapunzel has to go up against the legend Snow White herself! What a rough draw..

Oooohhhh I'm hearing some of the ladies who weren't selected are pretttttty upset at their exclusion from thsi year's tournament. Let's throw it to our affiliate Donald Duck who's standing by with Pocahontas.

Donald: &#)D*((&&@##

Pocahontas: Man... this is Bull#%!t.

Whooaaa now, we're sorry you're taking it so badly Princess. We have nothing but respect for you. I'm sure that EVE, Bianca, and Duchess are all pretty mad too, but we don't have time for that now. We've got to get on with the next bracket.

Our next bracket is for the Heroes... The first round match-ups will be..

Hercules vs. Aladdin

Peter Pan vs Flik

Simba vs. Jack Skellington

Ralph vs. Robin Hood

Mowgli vs. Dumbo

Pinocchio vs. Buzz Lightyear

Marlin vs Carl Fredrickson

Woody vs. Wall-E

Wow folks! What an incredible set of match-ups we have in store for you. It's a real shame we can't include everyone, because there are some truly shocking "outs" from the list. Heroes I believe could have done real damage in this tournament. After Pocahontas' outburst, let's not bounce to Goofy who's with Tom O'Malley and Tarzan at a local bar. Just know that they're not pleased.

This is so exciting folks! We're halfway done with our bracket and we have another 2 regions to go... Right after these words from our sponsor...


*Music* Pizza Planet! The pizza that's owwwwwwttt of this WORLD! *Music*

If you love delicious pizza and convenient, fast delivery than Pizza Planet is the pizza for you! We've got new locations popping up all over. In fact, we're literally EVERYWHERE!

*Music* Pizza Planet! The pizza that's owwwwwwttt of this WORLD! *Music*

Aaaaaand we're back, folks. Man, that pizza from Pizza Planet sure is the best, isn't it?

Anyway, we're halfway through the announcement of the March Magic Bracket and we've made our way to the unsung region... The Sidekicks. So many of our favorite Disney movies wouldn't be half of what they are without these plucky folks to do the dirty work. What's really great about this region is that we can have side-kick teams!

Here we go...

Timothy Mouse vs Tinkerbell

Seven Dwarves vs Rhino

Jiminy Crickett vs Baloo

Little John vs. Dori

Flounder & Sebastian vs. Iago

Lumiere &Cogsworth vs. Bugs from A Bugs Life

Timon & Pumbaa vs. Mushu

Stitch vs. Flotsam & Jetsam

Amazing matchups! The sidekick bracket is just absolutely loaded with legends. So many great characters going up against each other early on in the tournament! Timon and Pumbaa vs Mushu! I mean COME ON!! There are so many great characters who didn't make the cut. Our sources tell us that this region gave us two of the toughest exclusions in Rhino, the incredibly funny hamster from 'Bolt' and Dug & Russell from 'Up'. What a tough job the selection committee had! Goodness!

Alright folks... one more region to announce, and for many it's going to produce some of the most intriguing of match-ups! The guilty pleasures that are Villains... or at least Guilty, am I right?  Let's get to it, huh?

Starting us off are:

Evil Queen vs. Dr. Facilier

Maleficent vs. Hades

Cruella vs. Lotso

Captain Hook vs. Shere Khan

Queen of Hearts vs. Prince John

Ursula vs. Syndrome

Jafar vs. King Candy

Hopper vs. Gaston

What an exciting tournament this is shaping up to be! So many fantastic characters... What's that? I hear that our colleague Mickey Mouse himself has mustered up all of his courage and is waiting in the Villains waiting room where some of the ousted Villains are steaming!

Mickey - "Huh-ha! Well there Darla. How do you feel about not being included in this year's tournament?"
Darla- FISHIES!!!! I want FISHIES!!
Mickey - There ya have it Muchacho! Darla's doing just fine! Huh-ha!

Thanks Mickey! I have a feeling you're lucky that Shan-Yu and Bruce the Great White Shark weren't available for comment.

So there ya go folks, that concludes our WDTV telecast of Selection Saturday for this year's March Magic Tournament!

Stay tuned as we work through the match-ups in each region and determine our regional champions before making our way all the way to our Fantasy Four!

Going to the Promised Land: Part Two

Night at Splash Mountain

Let me tell you a little insider secret.

Turns out, Disneyland, far more than WDW is often crowded with local teens with too much time on their hands. Nothing keeps the hoards of emo, skinny-jeaned children at bay like pending rain. It was amazing.

My visit to Disneyland started a tad unceremoniously, I suppose. Especially considering how much I'd built up the momentous occasion in my head. I was talking on the phone with the Tofu Muchacha and the cab driver dumped me in this weird side drop-off area. As I walked the same direction as a couple of other folks, and suddenly there I was. At the main gates of Disneyland. There were no trumpets, there was no fanfare, but there it was. Walt's very own creation.

Maybe it's that it was dark and rainy, when I'm usually accustomed to entering the parks at opening, in the bright of day, and with all the accompanying music and celebrations.

Turns out, it didn't matter, because I was confronted with one of the iconic images in all of Disneydom.

Sleeping Beauty's Castle.

I was aware that the Disneyland castle was smaller than its Floridian counterpart, though the extent to that it was smaller was not something I was prepared for. It is small in comparison, but that didn't stop me from standing there, in front of the Walt and Mickey “Partners” statue, and just staring at it. There was the castle I'd seen a million on TV and in pictures, and with Walt riding a trolley in front of it. It was an exceptional sight.

 

This is where I had a choice to make. What do I hit first? I knew I wanted to start with something I couldn't experience in Florida, and as far as I was concerned, there were two main choices:

The Matterhorn, the classic bobsled coaster, was the most obvious. It's been there since 1959, and is the first of the many “mountains” of the Disney Universe. Expedition Everest is basically The Matterhorn's younger, slicker, scarier sister. Not only that, but The Matterhorn is the most visible physical feature of Disneyland from outside the park. It's an excellent choice for my very first ride at Disneyland. The downside to choosing The Matterhorn first was that I felt that one of the great features of The Matterhorn is that from her heights, seeing the rest of the park is possible, and I wanted to do that during the day.

The other major attraction I had in mind was one that is significantly newer. That was Indiana Jones Adventure. No Spring chicken, by any means, it's been around since 1995, but unlike some of the other major attractions, it's not particularly well-known outside of the theme park fan circles. The biggest reason I was intrigued by the ride is that it is regularly rated as the “best” ride at Disneyland by various theme park websites that aren't affiliated with Disney.

So it was toward Adventureland, and Indy, I went...

This is where I mention that the “Single Rider” option is maybe the greatest theme park invention ever. Far better than a fast pass. It's awesome. The TM and I even do it to avoid longer waits when we're together. Sure, if you wanna get one of those ride pictures, you may wanna sit next to your companions, or if you have kids, but for the most part you're riding a ride, you're not having a deep conversation. Seriously... consider Single Rider.

Wait...

What I mean is DON'T do Single Rider. Ever. It's horrible. (yeah... that's the ticket).

Seriously, though, Single Rider is awesome, and I used it several times. The first was on Indy. I walked all the way up to where they were showing the pre-show screening, and I waited maybe a total of 15 minutes. That includes the very long walk through the queue.

So the ride itself is excellent. For those of you who've been to WDW and ridden 'Dinosaur' at Animal Kingdom, the mechanics are very similar. The ride cars are basically the same technology, where the car feels like it's going on bumpy roads and dipping into ditches and holes and cutting corners. I actually liked it a lot better than 'Dinosaur' in just about every respect. The ride felt smoother, while still being exciting. The theme is incredibly well conceived and carried out. The ride FEELS long, too, which is awesome. You know how you sometimes you wait for an hour for a ride, and it's over so quickly that no matter how exciting, it just feels like you wasted time? I felt the opposite about Indy. I would have gladly waited an hour to ride. (Incidentally, I know it's blasphemy, but I feel that way about Peter Pan's Flight. Even though Peter Pan is among my favorite movies of all time, and that ride is a classic, it's too short to wait more than 15 minutes.)

After riding it, I came to this realization that being an Imagineer is maybe not the unreachable star I've always believed. Not to say that I have a chance of being one, or even that I've got the compulsion to try, but maybe for the first time I noticed patterns. Rides being different versions of other rides. Technology from one thing being used with a new overlay on another thing. It becomes a little more accessible once you start to see the nuts and bolts a little more clearly.

But I digress...

Once I rolled out of Indy, I was exhilarated, and ready for more. I'd entered the park only 2 hours before closing, and I'd thought I'd only have the chance to ride one or two things in that time. The crowds were so light, my whole structure changed. I walked toward New Orleans Square.

New Orleans Square is a little bizarre, because I'm not sure it totally makes sense that it's there... you know... theme-wise. Not that it isn't cool, but I just don't totally get why Walt chose New Orleans. All of the other “Lands” are a bit more universal. Frontier. Fantasy. Tomorrow. And... New Orleans. I just feels oddly specific.

Anyway, there are basically a bunch of shops and restaurants in New Orleans Square, Club 33 is there (I'll talk about that more in a minute), and most importantly two of the great rides in all of the Disney Universe.... Pirates of the Caribbean and Haunted Mansion.

I realize that both of those rides appear in just about every Disney around the world, so I wasn't sticking strictly to my plan of those rides only unique to Disneyland, but I'd also heard so many times how much better the Pirates at Disneyland was than its WDW brother. I was skeptical. Pirates is probably my favorite ride at Magic Kingdom, and I had a hard time imagining a “Pirates” iteration much better, or even much different.

Friends... I don't want to alarm anyone here, but all of us who are used to the WDW Pirates have been conned. Bamboozled. Scammed. Gypped. You get me?

It's been over a week since my first (and 2^nd) rides of Pirates, and I still can't get over how much better the Disneyland version is. It's a significant disparity.

The most obvious difference is that the DL version has got to be a solid 5 minutes longer. This alone would be enough to make me choose the DL Pirates, because how awesome is 5 extra minutes of Pirates? Exactly.

Of course you're wondering what they did with that extra 5 minutes, and the answer is that they stuffed it chock-full of scenes that don't occur in the Florida version. The middle section of the ride is essentially the same. From when you drop down the 2^nd slope and find yourself outside of the Fort where Barbossa is attacking, all the way through the scene where the dog is holding the keys. On either side of it, though, you have so much more meat. There's this great scene at the beginning where you have this abandoned saloon where skeleton pirates are totally partying, and on the other side, you havee the skeleton of the Pirate King in his bed. This reminded me a lot of the scene in the 4^th Pirates Movie (which you'll recall I rated as the worst movie of 2011). It actually made me like the movie slightly more. At the end of the ride there's this GREAT scene where these pirates are precariously hanging out in this room with all these explosives, while the room is “burning down”. It might actually be my favorite scene of all.

The last major change is that the ride starts very much like the boat ride does in Mexico at Epcot, where riders float through this bayou scene, but there's a nice restaurant with diners on the other side. It sounds weird, but the atmosphere in there is spectacular.

I just... I loved it so much, and additional scenes, the “Bayou” overlay, and the additional time just pushes it so far past the Florida version, that you start feeling like you got robbed if you've only been to the one in WDW.

As I excited the ride, I ended up on this street in New Orleans Square right by The Blue Bayou, which is the expensive restaurant you go past on the boats. Immediately next door to that is Club 33.

The Entrance to Club 33

I can't really talk in detail about Club 33, because I don't know that much about it. It's a special, very exclusive club, at Disneyland that has been around for years. Has a long waiting list, and a high entry fee. You can't get in unless you're a member. And I gotta get in there. I must. (Read more about it here)

So anyway, giddy from my time on Pirates, and with just over an hour still to go, I walked over to check out The Haunted Mansion, only to find that they were having technical difficulties, and it was closed for the night.

I took this as my cue to head over to Splash Mountain, which I discovered was... Closed for the night.

So, after much walking and much wandering into corners and alleys and dead-ends... OH, by the way... People who say that The Magic Kingdom is the same layout as DL are just plain wrong. I could find my way through Magic Kingdom in the dead of night with just the sounds and smells to guide me. In Disneyland, I kept finding myself turning the wrong way and ending up at a service entrance or restrooms.

Eventually I found my way to Fantasyland, and sort of accidentally in front of another Disneyland-only attraction that I'd not even realized was still there... Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.

I didn't ride Mr. Toad on my first visit to WDW, and he was gone by my second. All he left behind was the seething rage leveled by just about everyone that this “Classic” was being replaced. This was the first of two giant kerfuffles I can recall about rides at WDW, the other being the far more successful fit everyone had about Figment and Journey into Imagination, though some would argue the “New” version is so bad they may as well have left it gone.

Anyway, I figured I may as well see what all the fuss was over, and yeah.. it was pretty fun, and definitely dark for a Disney attraction (that whole bit about going to Hell is totally true), but all in all I was hoping for more. It's a really good dark-ride, and certainly better than the Winnie the Pooh ride that replaced it, but I mean... I guess it's only a classic due to its age.

After riding, I started making my way toward the exit. I was really tired, the park was closing in 15 minutes, and I knew that the next day would be a long and exhausting one. Still... I couldn't resist stopping in to Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters, which is (as far as I can tell) no different than Buzz Lightyear Space Ranger Spin. Still, it's a super fun ride and even though I'm patently awful at shooting those dumb targets, it's silly and loud and very enjoyable. They did have this awesome, and HUGE Buzz animatronic figure that, I guess, runs on the same technology as the Mr. Potato Head at Toy Story Mania. He was heckling the crowd, and his face was actually animated.

Once I was done with Buzz, I headed toward the exit, stopping in a couple shops on the way.

All in all, it was an amazing start to my weekend. Incredibly memorable, and exciting. I got to walk the roads Walt walked, and see Sleeping Beauty's castle. I rode the excellent Indiana Jones, and I forever changed my view of Pirates of the Caribbean.

A great start.

Stay tuned for Part 3, covering the highlights of my first full day at Disneyland.