Saturday, March 23, 2013

March Magic! "Selection Saturday"

Hello Disney Fans, and welcome to the first Disney Character Tournament, or as we here at WDTV affectionately call it "March Magic!".

I'm your host, founder, and judge the Beefy Muchacho.

Before we get to announcing our brackets, let me take a minute to bring all you fans up to speed on this event.

Not long ago I read a tweet from FOTB (Friend of the Blog) @DJPhob , who suggested a Heros vs. Villains Tournament. Having never seen an idea I couldn't make almost too unwieldy, I decided to expand  this idea into a "Greatest Disney Character" tournament, which brings us to TONIGHT!

Much like a certain basketball tournament that shares this same magical month, our bracket is divided into four regions of 16 contestants each. All of them itching to carve out their own Cinderella Story. (See what I did there?)

Those four regions are:
Heroines: A region where all of our favorite Disney leading ladies, Heroines, and Princesses will duke it out for a chance to compete in our Fantasy Four.

Heroes: The bracket where all of the famous dudes in our Disney universe battle to make their way to outshine those princesses for once.

Sidekicks: All of these side-kicks, or side-kick duos have dreamed for years of taking the spotlight for their own, and now they have their chance. Which Second Banana will rise above the rest?

Villains: The Duke Universities and New York Yankees of our little melee, which Villain will have a shot at taking down all of these do-gooders once and for all?

Unlike that other tournament in March, we don't have seeds. The matchups are selected at random from our fields of 16 competitors per region. Oh, and it should be mentioned that original legends like Mickey, Donald, Goofy and other stars of shorts and compilations like Chip and Dale, the Three Pigs, and other stars are not eligible this year. This tournament is for Animated Feature stars only..

Each match-up will be judged by me, based on entirely arbitrary and inconsistent criteria, so we all can be sure there'll be plenty of dissent, and I wel.... Wait! I'm getting word in my ear piece that the selection committee has emerged from the ready room and are about to announce our first region, the Heroines!

In the Heroines Region, the first round match-ups will be:

Ariel vs. Wendy Lady

Belle vs. Lilo

Lady vs. Jasmine

Cinderella vs. Princess Atta

Rapunzel vs. Snow White

Merida vs. Vanellope Von Shweetz

Tiana vs. Alice

Aurora vs. Mulan

Wow... Those are some truly interesting match-ups here. To imagine that one of Wendy or Ariel won't make it out of the first round! Young superstar Rapunzel has to go up against the legend Snow White herself! What a rough draw..

Oooohhhh I'm hearing some of the ladies who weren't selected are pretttttty upset at their exclusion from thsi year's tournament. Let's throw it to our affiliate Donald Duck who's standing by with Pocahontas.

Donald: &#)D*((&&@##

Pocahontas: Man... this is Bull#%!t.

Whooaaa now, we're sorry you're taking it so badly Princess. We have nothing but respect for you. I'm sure that EVE, Bianca, and Duchess are all pretty mad too, but we don't have time for that now. We've got to get on with the next bracket.

Our next bracket is for the Heroes... The first round match-ups will be..

Hercules vs. Aladdin

Peter Pan vs Flik

Simba vs. Jack Skellington

Ralph vs. Robin Hood

Mowgli vs. Dumbo

Pinocchio vs. Buzz Lightyear

Marlin vs Carl Fredrickson

Woody vs. Wall-E

Wow folks! What an incredible set of match-ups we have in store for you. It's a real shame we can't include everyone, because there are some truly shocking "outs" from the list. Heroes I believe could have done real damage in this tournament. After Pocahontas' outburst, let's not bounce to Goofy who's with Tom O'Malley and Tarzan at a local bar. Just know that they're not pleased.

This is so exciting folks! We're halfway done with our bracket and we have another 2 regions to go... Right after these words from our sponsor...

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Anyway, we're halfway through the announcement of the March Magic Bracket and we've made our way to the unsung region... The Sidekicks. So many of our favorite Disney movies wouldn't be half of what they are without these plucky folks to do the dirty work. What's really great about this region is that we can have side-kick teams!

Here we go...

Timothy Mouse vs Tinkerbell
Seven Dwarves vs Rhino
Jiminy Crickett vs Baloo
Little John vs. Dori
Flounder & Sebastian vs. Iago

Lumiere &Cogsworth vs. Bugs from A Bugs Life
Timon & Pumbaa vs. Mushu
Stitch vs. Flotsam & Jetsam

Amazing matchups! The sidekick bracket is just absolutely loaded with legends. So many great characters going up against each other early on in the tournament! Timon and Pumbaa vs Mushu! I mean COME ON!! There are so many great characters who didn't make the cut. Our sources tell us that this region gave us two of the toughest exclusions in Rhino, the incredibly funny hamster from 'Bolt' and Dug & Russell from 'Up'. What a tough job the selection committee had! Goodness!

Alright folks... one more region to announce, and for many it's going to produce some of the most intriguing of match-ups! The guilty pleasures that are Villains... or at least Guilty, am I right?  Let's get to it, huh?

Starting us off are:

Evil Queen vs. Dr. Facilier
Maleficent vs. Hades
Cruella vs. Lotso
Captain Hook vs. Shere Khan
Queen of Hearts vs. Prince John
Ursula vs. Syndrome

Jafar vs. King Candy
Hopper vs. Gaston

What an exciting tournament this is shaping up to be! So many fantastic characters... What's that? I hear that our colleague Mickey Mouse himself has mustered up all of his courage and is waiting in the Villains waiting room where some of the ousted Villains are steaming!

Mickey - "Huh-ha! Well there Darla. How do you feel about not being included in this year's tournament?"
Darla- FISHIES!!!! I want FISHIES!!
Mickey - There ya have it Muchacho! Darla's doing just fine! Huh-ha!

Thanks Mickey! I have a feeling you're lucky that Shan-Yu and Bruce the Great White Shark weren't available for comment.

So there ya go folks, that concludes our WDTV telecast of Selection Saturday for this year's March Magic Tournament!

Stay tuned as we work through the match-ups in each region and determine our regional champions before making our way all the way to our Fantasy Four!

1 comment:

  1. My Fantasy Four picks are Merida, Dumbo, Timon & Pumbaa, and Maleficent! Go team!
    --Mickey Mutineers!